Sick & Tired
Posted on May 30, 2007 - Filed Under Humour | - Author: Lil' Mephisto
O.k folks so a couple of quickies from the archive.
First off what still remains my favourite sick note story ever (even after an eternity trapped in Retail Hell…)
I used to work with this guy (let’s call him Little T) and he was renowned for his excuses when it came to calling in sick, the man had used every excuse going, I mean everything, there wasn’t an extended family member who could drop dead to get this guy a day off and even Lazarus would have had a hard time getting over the illnesses this guy had been plagued with but he truly surpassed himself when he called in sick one day because he had…
“Woken up late. Rushed to get dressed. Found that his socks were wet,
put them on the radiator to dry them, then put them on and…
“BURNED HIS FEET AND COULDN’T WALK ANYMORE!“
When I heard this I laughed so hard I actually peed myself a little.
Little T you are a true legend and remain the Don of Dons when it comes to pure unadulterated beautifully crafted bullshit.
You brought joy to my life with that little gem and wherever you are I hope you’re still raising hell and giving managers grief. I salute you you true artist.
Next we have one from way back at my first job (all those Millenia ago)…
I was fresh into the world of work, a complete newbee, totally sold on the idea of making my own money and then retiring in my mid 20’s to my own private island in the south seas… Anyway I was partnered up with this full timer, it was her last day and she was ment to be showing me the ropes as we put stock out but instead she just spent the first hour slating the place, the people, the uniform, the universe and pretty much her entire existence in retail. The department manager must have overheard some of this because he came over and condescendingly asked her…
“How she was feeling?”
This girl looked up at him, gave him the most withering look I’d ever seen then through gritted teeth seethed the word… “TIRED!“
Then she just dropped the pile of stock she was carrying to the floor, walked into the staff room collected her things and walked out without another word to anyone as the manager just stood there looking around dumbfounded.
I should have taken it as a sign from the Gods and run for my life there and then but alas it took me a decade of dead end jobs in Retail Hell before I finally got it.
On my last day my manager asked me how I was feeling and what could I say but …
“TIRED!“
Think you’ve heard better then add your own twisted tales in the forum
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