ABOUT LIL’ MEPHISTO
Posted on September 20, 2006 - Filed Under Uncategorized | - Author: Lil' Mephisto
Lil’ Mephisto lives in a small padded room somewhere in the center of middle Earth, his last refuge from the incessant inhumanity of customers/managers/multi-national companies towards retail staff. After over a decade working in retail serving the lowest common denominators of the human race he now communicates in a series of clicks and whistles and suffers from a pronounced nervous tick whenever he’s within ten feet of a cash register.
He can no longer bear to face humanity having seen it’s true face during the Summer sales and having been subsequently scarred for life by the experience.
A little old lady once managed to get him in a choke hold after he refused to give her a discount on a sweater she had just ripped in the shop right in front of him. Since then he has championed a one man campaign against the use of nuclear power in favour of using little old ladies as an alternative eco-friendly fuel source (this also has the added benefit to society of avoiding the looming pension crisis. Though admittedly the global economic trade in doilies might be adversely affected.)
He has several scars caused by customers throwing things at him, he is going deaf in one ear from years of customers screaming at him down the phone, he has worked for four multi-national companies, he has made two managers weep, he now walks with a slight limp after little Nipper attacked him at a HMV store opening (his last retail incarnation/incarceration), he has now quit five jobs, three relationships, two addictions and on any thought of ever working in retail again.
To contact Lil’ Mephisto and offer your condolences on his lost youth at the hands of his retail overloads you can post comments on the site or use the contact form to email him a message or for those of you inclined you can send him a message at myspace, just don’t expect a speedy reply as he now suffers from RSI caused by years of folding jeans at the GAP.
“Retail Sucks! Managers Suck! Customers Suck!”
The (un)holy trinity.
(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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The new Gap Denim wall is now an entire wall from ceiling to floor, but worse than that is the T-shirt wall that takes up the same space, but holds 8000 square-folded shirts.
This site has the potential to rock and provide a valuable service to folks who work in retail or service related industrys. I’d love to see it take off…